Genesis 1:1
And God, feeling a little clumsy, doth tripped upon his own
feet, and as he fell, he felt the creation of the big bang. His leg, now
broken, he decided it was time to put the team on his back, doe, and 12 billion
years later, the earth was created. God created all the animals, but was
annoyed with the apes, who spent much of their time throwing doth feces at each
other, and the entirety of Eden. Fed up,
God struck down an especially unruly pair of apes, and with this strike,
evolution was born. Or so he thought. Rather, evolution was realized. He
strolled through the garden, thinking to himself, Hell, this is a pretty neat
place. AND HELL WAS CREATED. God spent the remainder of his time upon the earth
telling everyone he met that he was He. Creator, realizer, and most importantly,
High on methamphetamines.
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